Beating the Myth of Overextension [Self-Love Letter]
Hi Byte Wellness Fam,
How are you feeling?
I feel proud!
I’m proud of all the progress our community has made this year. You all have used our text conversations and workshop discussions to discover wonderful personal insights and encourage each other past wellness challenges.
This week’s #PhyteWellWednesday Workshop was no exception. Check out the recording below to see for yourself.
Sneak Peek: One of our OG community members, Dr. Michelle, shares how she invites more fun, support and love into her life without overextending herself. This touches on a very important concept that we tend to overlook (the Myth of Overextension) which kills our joy every single time.
If you’re not getting the workshop invites, now’s a good time to join the text thread (where the invites come from). Text TEXT to 1(866)717-1919 to join for free.
Discussion Question
Discussion Question:
Think about the things/people that make you feel good.
How can you get more of those things in your life?
For the last few months, we looked at the ways that chronic stress (a negative feeling) sets off a chain reaction of beta-adrenaline (our fight-or-flight hormone) and cortisol (our stress hormone). That chain reaction triggers inflammation in our bodies. If this process happens on a daily or weekly basis, it can eat away at our health.
There is growing research on the emotions-to-inflammation connection explaining how our emotions (especially stress) can get “under our skin” and increase our disease risks.
Everyday, just getting out of bed opens humans up to a host of disease risks. Living as Black women within the social structures of the U.S. opens us up to even more layers of risk factors.
Yet, we’re not sitting ducks. We have a toolkit filled with Wellness Superpowers that can help us counteract disease risks (like chronic inflammation). That toolkit include at least 4 categories of Superpowers: sleeping, de-stressing, moving and eating in anti-inflammatory ways.
Feeling Good Is Radical Self-Care
We’ve spent these last few weeks talking about the research showing that, just as chronic stress puts us at risk for chronic inflammation and disease, experiencing a range of positive feelings can change our physiology for the better.
Remember that radical self-care Audre Lorde wrote about? Connecting with community while leaning into gratitude, laughter, determination, calm and so many other positive feelings is one way to unlock this not-so-secret weapon.
Here’s what the science says:
Randomized controlled trials show that laughter can cut stress hormone levels (cortisol) by more than 30%.
8 weeks of keeping a gratitude journal lowered inflammatory markers in a group of patients with heart failure.
Gratitude might activate the same anti-stress, health-promoting brain pathways that light up when we take care of a loved one.
The Myth of Overextension
If you have trouble believing that caregiving can lower our stress levels, you’re not alone. I was surprised to read this research, too.
We’ve probably all had at least one stressful experience taking care of children, babysitting family members or caring for elderly loved ones. And, the pattern of caregiving causing major stress is so well-documented, that there’s an entire medical/psychological condition to explain it: “caregiver burden”.
But, as much as we’ve had stressful caregiving experiences, we’ve inevitably had some positive ones.
Can you think of at least one caregiving experience that left you feeling uplifted, grateful, and inspired?
Perhaps it’s not caregiving that’s inherently stressful. What’s more likely the cause of our caregiving stress is our having overextended ourselves psychologically, physically or, even, financially in order to give care.
If we give more than we're prepared to based on our level of resources and support, stress is the inevitable outcome!
This isn’t the first time that science has shown us this type of wellness paradox because balance is everything in wellness.
There are so many activities that boost our health in moderation but harm us in excess. For example, drinking enough water is essential to life; drinking too much is deadly.
Similarly, good feelings can boost our health and well-being. But, it sometimes takes effort to get to those good feelings. When we’re giving to others, preparing space for others and seeking out enjoyable experiences for ourselves, are we overextending ourselves?
Are we opening ourselves up to more of a burden than we’re prepared to handle- all in the name of feeling good?
Our anti-inflammatory power is in choosing to lean into the good parts of good feelings without over-extending ourselves (which can quickly turn our good feelings bad).
What ways have you found to lean into feeling good?
Have you gotten creative about inviting more good feelings into your life in low-stress ways?
Happy Healthy Living,
Dr. Wuse