It's Time for Us to Weigh In on Our Weight
Hi Byte Wellness Fam!
How are you feeling?
I feel important. That’s because we spent this week talking about how important it is for us to be the ones driving our goals around weight. We are worthy of centering ourselves.
In this week’s #PhyteWellWednesday workshop, we spent time reflecting on how we realized that other folks felt like they had a stake in our weight, our shape, and our size. In response to the discussion question, many of you shared via zoom (or simply texted in) that you’ve had a wide range of input on your weight over the years. Seems like most of this was unsolicited.
Check your answer to the discussion question and watch the workshop recording below to see how you relate. If you’re not getting invites to the weekly workshop, go ahead and text TEXT to 1(224)302-6224 to get on the text thread.
Discussion Question
How old were you when you first noticed pressure to have a certain shape/weight?
Where did that pressure come from (fam, media, partner, etc)?
In the #PhyteWellWednesday Workshop, we shared that everyone from family members to peers to would-be partners have felt the need insert themselves into the conversation on OUR weight/shape/size.
And there’s never a right answer, is there?
Some of these critics thought we were too small (calling us “skinny” or comparing us to cartoon characters). In a different setting or a different life stage, we might have been told we were too heavy or shapely (getting “round”, looking too “womanly”).
Most of us realized that our bodies were considered a viable subject of conversation as early as childhood (elementary school or high school).
Of course, we realized later in life how society uses this outside-in appraisal of girl’s and women’s bodies as an object of control.
In some cases, the critique felt benign and well-intended. These were compassionate family members who only wanted to protect our health (“don’t set yourself up for the diseases that run in our family”).
Other times, the family members might have been more committed to our remaining “cute” (“Don’t lose your figure”). That’s not really a fair burden to hand to us.
In other cases, we had peers (fellow snotty-nosed kids) telling us our body didn’t look “right”. How didn’t it look right? It was too big or too small to fit the standard of beauty.
Then, there’s always the gym teacher who’d decide for themselves which kids were either too small or too big for their health. Who says? Who set those standards? And why didn’t we get a vote?
Back then, we might have believed them. We might have been embarrassed into trying to change. We might have wanted to disappear. Even when we ignored the criticism, rolled our eyes, it had some effect. As little girls, this was overt training for the more subtle messages we would be fed as women: You don’t have power, and you don’t deserve to have power. You don’t even have the final say on the value of your body (or your health).
The whole discussion shares threads with recent maddening legal debates around abortion rights. For some reason, society is determined to insert itself into the conversation between us and OUR bodies. As far as I’m concerned, that’s an A and B conversation…you know the rest.
That’s why we spend time in this space reclaiming our power and centering ourselves in each of our health and wellness goals. And we do it honestly.
We get in touch with the truth of our wellbeing as some combination of science and our lived experience.
We ask ourselves if/how our weight puts us at risk for conditions we want to avoid (like type 2 diabetes).
We ask ourselves if/how shifting our balance of muscle and fat might change our energy levels for the better.
We ask ourselves if/how making a change to our bodies serves us.
We’re the decision-makers, now.
If we decide to lose weight (or shift our body composition in some other way), it won’t be because society (or our old gym teacher) told us we need to.
Happy Healthy Living,
Dr. Wuse